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Old Monday, April 23rd, 2007, 11:24 AM
voyager529's Avatar
Misses Jessie
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Post The best readme file ever...

Hey CMN!

Okay so I just came across this readme file stored with captured clips in Serious Magic's (now Adobe's) DV Rack software. Usually these things are boring to read, but this has to be the most entertaining readme file I've ever seen...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Magic
Oh, good.... You're reading this file. You are indeed a wise person who takes
direction well. Blessings be upon you!

IMPORTANT!

WHAT NOT TO DO:
All the captured video clips in this folder (and any subfolders in it) must
remain unmodified and exactly where they are for DV Rack to fully and properly
function. You see, DV Rack has an internal Database that puts the clips here
and this Database bloody well expects them to still be here the next time it
comes around looking for them. Pay attention because this Database has a
personality much like the deity figure in some religions (say, Pan or Loki). It
is a singularly temperamental, unforgiving, and capricious Database Deity. It
knows how to Smite and, trust us, you don't want any smiting going on around
your clips. The only way to make the Database Deity cranky is to mess with the
clips it puts here in this one folder.

Editing, deleting, or renaming these clips will result in inexplicable, random,
and very likely BAD and NAUGHTY behavior on the part of DV Rack. No kidding,
this normally elegant and refined software will start acting like a petulant
three-year-old who is hours past nappy time and just had its ice cream taken
away. No one wants that! So PLEASE do not perform any of these actions on any
clips in this folder. However, if DV Rack is not running, you can use Windows
to copy of one or more clips in this folder to somewhere else on your hard
drive (outside the DV Rack folders). But don't even THINK about ever putting
them back here.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO INSTEAD:
The instant, easy, proper (and painless) way to get your clutches on these
clips is to first use the magic "Eject" button in the DVR. DV Rack will
graciously take the clips from the evil clutches of the Database and put them
next door, over in the "Ejected Clips" folder. Life is easy over there. No
rules. No consequences. No three-year-olds.

So remember, don't touch the clips unless they're in the "Ejected Clips" folder
or the "Garbage Clips" folder. If you do, don't come crying to us like a three-
year-old who just had its ice cream taken away. You have been warned...

The DV Rack Team Thanks You For Your Most Benevolent Cooperation
Joey
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Old Monday, April 23rd, 2007, 11:31 AM
MediaGuy's Avatar
...A vergence, you say?
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That's so fun... It makes the point much better than the cut-and-dry, just-the-facts, ma'am approach we're used to!
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Old Monday, April 23rd, 2007, 12:02 PM
voyager529's Avatar
Misses Jessie
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For real...now if only we could get Adobe (who acquired Serious Magic) to get this guy to write the EULA's..........

Joey
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Old Monday, April 23rd, 2007, 01:37 PM
kbob's Avatar
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awesome

good read, and gives a metaphorical approach to a generally boring read.
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Old Monday, April 23rd, 2007, 03:36 PM
Lucas's Avatar
has finished school!
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Now that is a Readme.... does anyone here ever read them in their entirety?
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Old Monday, April 23rd, 2007, 03:43 PM
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You better read them or you could be signing your life away . I like both of the readme for DVRack and Ultra2. I'm sure they have hummor in all of their readmes. We will see what Adobe does to the product line.

crt
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Old Monday, April 23rd, 2007, 04:55 PM
voyager529's Avatar
Misses Jessie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gracetech View Post
You better read them or you could be signing your life away . I like both of the readme for DVRack and Ultra2. I'm sure they have hummor in all of their readmes. We will see what Adobe does to the product line.

crt
can you post Ultra's readme file here?

Joey
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Old Monday, April 23rd, 2007, 09:18 PM
Tim Eason's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by voyager529 View Post
can you post Ultra's readme file here?

Joey
I have Ultra (and DV Rack) -- pre-Adobe. I'll try to post Ultra's after we get the server moved.
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