My Story - Advice would be Appreciated

[nuts4cmptrs]

Hi! My name is Cathy. I am 51 years young - love fashion and shopping with my 19 year old daughter - college student. My two sons are older living on their own. I have an Art degree (Fashion Institute of Tech - NYC, and VCU), Post-Bac. certificate in Instructional Technology in Education, Art Ed and Computer Science Endorsed - teaching certificate. I have been involved in church media for 12+ years. By media, I basically have been focused on projection media end - lyrics for songs / backgrounds, video clips, special clips, moving backgrounds, sermons logos from time to time and sermon notes. I make my own moving backgrounds, countdowns, still images, etc. I share images here at Church Media, and also on Flickr Shared Worship Backgrounds Pool. I love this stuff. My husband Steve has always been my partner / compliment, because he serves in the music / band ministry. He worships with his electric guitar and plays any of the contempory Christian songs that we all know and love. He rocks! We have been involved with Contemporary Worship. I have always been a volunteer in the media ministries that I have served on. I have a full time job working in a school system in Instructional Technology. I love computers and enjoy what I do.

Most of my beginning years were at one church, but since the major changes and basically restructuring of a church that we belonged to for years, core members have all moved on. Since then it has been difficult to find a good fit / church home. I am sad to say that the church I was involved with I have left. I am enthusiastic media person who truly believes media is a form of worship. When I serve, it is with passion, heart and soul. When I first came to get involved 2 1/2 years ago, it took 4 months before the Media leader would allow me to participate. He was the only person on the one-person team. Then he was not thrilled about my sharing of backgrounds and trying to work as a team. I am a team player. I know what it is to be on a team and work as a team - I always have in the past. One of the things I was an advocate for was to use presentation software instead of Keynote. He is from the perspective of business (ppt) Keynote (mac platform) with animated white text on a black background just suites it fine. I am from the worship perspective. Anyway about a year into the mininstry, I purchased Live Worship (mac) myself and used my own laptop for the last year and a half. (It was frustrating using the keynote program for media because it is linear and time consuming. We basically worked as two separate media people.) I could get all my lyrics and necessary text done in 20 minutes and then spend time in the worship part of choosing the correct image / media or creating it if I needed. Our worship arts leader wanted to think of ideas to grow the team. We have a real problem here - as you know commitment to media is a big effort and not many people are into it. I suggested that using a presentation software would allow for cross-training for quick fill-ins if needed and if others see how easy using it would be, then maybe we can finally build this team. I am all for team. Plus our worship / music leader jumps all over the place and it is so easy to follow him because presentation software is non-linear - in Keynote it is painful and very difficult to follow blindly. As this past year in a half went on, media became a non-element and an unimportant matter of fact reflected in the worship arts leader's attitude, music and sound are the only part that matters to him. If it is there, fine, black backgrounds and white text are fine, mediocre is fine, keynote is fine, if the projection fails, fine. I was finally told since this person started the team, it is status quo. This ministry is not the only ministry suffering from "exclusiveness" only to those in the inner circle. I was so frustrated and disheartened that this ministry is reduced to matter of fact business presentation - what happened to worship - we should be worshipful in our dedication to the minstry - but in this church it is more matter of fact. Push the buttons, throw a Keynote together, and go through the motions. There became less and less communication and I never knew if there was anything needed until last minute or I had to ask and ask. I like to plan ahead. A couple of weeks before the new series I try to get a handle on imagery / logos, that the pastor wants to use, etc. I have to ask because it is never communicated to me directly. Our worship arts leader dissolved the worship team about a year ago (which I was also on). So basically the pastor communicated to the worship arts leader, who eventually would get info to me or to the media leader who would never relay anything until I asked and made decisions and never let me know - basically let me spin my wheels and then finally tell me.

I put my heart in this because I have a passion for it. It is a way to give my time and talent to God for all the grace and goodness that He has given me over the years. We should always give God our best. So here I am, no church, no media, and trying to figure out where to go. Steve is still with the music ministry, but he supports me all the way and knows what I was up against. He is also helping another church in music, so he is flexible and loves to work with other churches and share his talents. So my questions - am I wrong to look at this as worship? Is it wrong to have a passion for it? Has the plan changed? Is media no longer a part or element of a worship service? I can't just push buttons without meaning. It would be nice to hear your ideas. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong.

[tedanderson]

So my questions - am I wrong to look at this as worship? Is it wrong to have a passion for it? Has the plan changed? Is media no longer a part or element of a worship service? I can't just push buttons without meaning. It would be nice to hear your ideas. Maybe I am looking at this all wrong.

First of all you have to think in terms of what your pastor's vision is for the church. You can't look at what you have to offer and then think in terms of what *I* want or what *I* think is great or what *I* feel best suits the situation.

It's good to have a passion for this but you aren't helping the situation to leave your church because of it. It's best to choose a church based on how well you are being fed spiritually and the progress of your spiritual growth and development. It's not wise to choose a church based on whether they accept your gifts and talents. For all you know, this could be God taking you in a different direction and persuading you to expand your horizons and to use your creative abilities in other ways.

When I read your story, the first thing I thought about was Cain and Abel and what started that whole conflict in the first place. Cain was a farmer and probably a very passionate one at the least. And it wouldn't have surprised me if he spent months and years figuring out how to make some of the biggest, most delicious vegetables only for everyone else to nonchalantly say "..meh... these carrots and peas are OK." and I am sure his response was "WHAT?! You mean I slaved on that farm in the hot sun all year long and you think that my veggies are just plan OKAY?" And as a result of this, his heart was not right towards God and his offering was not accepted.

And so I share this because I wouldn't want to see you allow your passion prevent you from staying in good standing with God. IMHO worshiping God receiving all that he has made available for me takes precedence over whether anyone is willing to accept my gifts or offerings.

[Paris MkVI]

Cathy, I am so glad you have shared. I am going to offer a few thoughts. If the Holy Spirit speaks to you about them, great! If they don't fit or I have misunderstood, just ignore them.

Your passion is clear, and delightful. Your desire for excellence is noteworthy. Even your credentials are top-notch.

But are you getting fed spiritually? Are you called to be fully on-board with the vision and mission of your church?

Those two are critical.

And here's one tough thought I share with my team. It is a hard one, especially for creatives.

Don't ask your church to support the weight of your creative dreams. Serve your church. Don't ask your church to serve you (in the area of your service, that is).

Everything lives and dies on leadership. If your senior pastor does not have an issue with the way things are, then having communicated your heart, let it go. Trust God's leading and timing.

No doubt there will be a season where you will not love what you see on the screen. But is the Word being preached? Are people connecting and growing in the Grace and knowledge of Jesus? Those are what matters.

I do not know if the Lord wants you to step back for a season and just be fed. But if you find yourself in conflict with that ministry leader, perhaps it is what is best - for a season.

Keep this circumstance in prayer. God knows your heart and your passion. Trust and seek His plan and timing.

In Habbakuk, this prophet basically did three things. In chapter one, he asks God for specific guidance in his prayer. In chapter two, he believes God will answer and in chapter three he commits to follow through on God's direction.

This process assures I am doing what He blesses, as opposed to asking Him to bless what I am doing.

You may well be in this prayer process, sis. Like I said, just toss anything that doesn't fit, or is what you are already doing. I share only in a desire to uplift and encourage.

[tedanderson]

Don't ask your church to support the weight of your creative dreams. Serve your church. Don't ask your church to serve you (in the area of your service, that is).

Once again, a VERY profound statement!

[nuts4cmptrs]

Wow! Your wisdom and advice is definitely appreciated. I guess what has been confusing for me, is that at the beginning of serving in this church, the vision was to move in a more media friendly direction - at least I was led to believe that from the Worship Leader. What seems to have happened is that the church has been in a stand-still position with some personnel changes including volunteer members, where they don't seem to move forward and are comfortable to stay with the status quo. It is very difficult for new members to fit into some of these ministry areas and lately it appears that it has come more exclusive than inclusive. I talked with one of the members of the Leadership council and he actually agreed with me about that. What I do feel is that there is no "I" in team and I hope that both of you did not get the wrong impression. I am more than happy to work with a direction and vision, but the vision has changed apparently. A great deal of the issue is with the media person and not necessarily the vision of the church. I have been in some of those major planning sessions. Unfortunely, it seems the ideas and hearts of those brainstorm direction for the the church in seasonal sermon series, etc. are very much forward thinking and great, but much of the reaching to others and finding more efficient ways to make it inviting for others, does not seem to happen - even with greeters - good intentions, but that is it. People who have been in these ministry areas for a long time basically stay in doing what they have always done and that is how it is always going to be done. I am wondering how that will grow the church. I will pray about it. Right now for me, no, I am no longer being fed there - although the pastor's sermons are very timely, however being connected and feeling like part of the church family has gone somewhere. It has been a very discouraging journey, because all I want to do is follow God's plan for my life, but as I have been praying, I am finding that I am being nudged to move on. I don't know if I ever was a fit there, but I certainly gave it my best. I did find a very interesting Women's Bible Study through a church closer to my home and I have asked to join the group. I just love the creativity, especially when I can do it for serving God. Thank you again for your thoughts. Your replies are well taken and received!

[Paris MkVI]

Originally Posted by nuts4cmptrs

A great deal of the issue is with the media person and not necessarily the vision of the church. . .

. . .but much of the reaching to others and finding more efficient ways to make it inviting for others, does not seem to happen - even with greeters - good intentions, but that is it.

People who have been in these ministry areas. . . basically stay in doing what they have always done and that is how it is always going to be done.

I am wondering how that will grow the church.

Right now for me, no, I am no longer being fed there - although the pastor's sermons are very timely, however being connected and feeling like part of the church family has gone somewhere.

Aren't people just fun??

The next line is a leadership issue. Different churches handle things in different ways, and change can come slowly. Sometimes too slowly.

"This is how we've always done it." I look around for a funeral procession when I hear this one. I consider it a possible red flag in a church.

I love it when God raises up leaders who teach their folks that it is not about growing a church - Jesus said He would do that. He does that heavy lifting; He is the one who changes and restores hearts. All we have to do is co-operate and co-labor with him. Our job is to help build the Kingdom. If we remain focused on that Great Commission, He will take care of the church. I know this is a bit of semantics to some, but I think it is an important internal spiritual and intellectual alignment.

Not growing or being fed? Feeling like you have been disconnected, as opposed to you disconnecting? Seek His desire for you. Ask Him specific questions. Believe He will respond. Then do what He says to do.

He may ask you to stay and be an agent of change over time. Or He may direct you elsewhere. Rest in the Truth that His plan is a better plan!

May God bless you and refresh you in His Holy Spirit!

[WORDpictures]

Originally Posted by nuts4cmptrs

People who have been in these ministry areas for a long time basically stay in doing what they have always done and that is how it is always going to be done. . . . It has been a very discouraging journey, because all I want to do is follow God's plan for my life, but as I have been praying, I am finding that I am being nudged to move on. I don't know if I ever was a fit there, but I certainly gave it my best.

I've been in a similar situation. No, it's highly unlikely to change until new people come into these roles if the church culture hasn't already been one of ongoing acceptance of change. I have had to move on to different churches after attempting to be that agent for positive change that was "talked" about but never enacted. These moves only came after great anguish because I tend to believe a church family is symbolic of our own family relationships and to be highly valued.

You sound similar to me, I worship through active participation in creative aspects of the service. And I believe the Bible teaches us to endeavor for excellence through our ministry efforts. Without these things, my spirit languishes... that's because of the unique way God designed me to serve through His Kingdom work. There's no greater peace, joy and fulfillment than to find a place to settle into and serve where you are a "good fit" with the existing church culture. Believe me... this has been my personal insight and I also know that God will make clear your ultimate decision with time and prayer.

[nuts4cmptrs]

You sound similar to me, I worship through active participation in creative aspects of the service. Without that, my spirit languishes... that's because of the unique way God designed me to serve through His Kingdom work. There's no greater peace, joy and fulfillment than to find a place to settle into and serve where you are a "good fit" with the existing church culture.

Thank you so much for understanding what I have been trying to say, although not as wonderfully expressed as you have stated. I truly believe in worship and having a church family, to build the Kingdom and serve the Lord. Yes, I think I am "wired" a little differently in the creative aspect. It is a spiritual journey for me as well and it is how I also learn and grow in service.

[nuts4cmptrs]

Aren't people just fun??

The next line is a leadership issue. Different churches handle things in different ways, and change can come slowly. Sometimes too slowly.

"This is how we've always done it." I look around for a funeral procession when I hear this one. I consider it a possible red flag in a church.
I love it when God raises up leaders who teach their folks that it is not about growing a church - Jesus said He would do that. He does that heavy lifting; He is the one who changes and restores hearts. All we have to do is co-operate and co-labor with him. Our job is to help build the Kingdom. If we remain focused on that Great Commission, He will take care of the church. I know this is a bit of semantics to some, but I think it is an important internal spiritual and intellectual alignment.

Not growing or being fed? Feeling like you have been disconnected, as opposed to you disconnecting? Seek His desire for you. Ask Him specific questions. Believe He will respond. Then do what He says to do.

He may ask you to stay and be an agent of change over time. Or He may direct you elsewhere. Rest in the Truth that His plan is a better plan!

Thank you for your statements on alignment. Yes, people are so much fun! I am definitely in prayer about this. The posts in this thread have been wonderful and so encouraging to me in reading your perspectives and points of view. I was hesitant on actually posting about this, because I am not always great in expressing myself in writing. Now in images or art, that's easier for me. I am one of those visual learners. Thanks again.

[[Director] Joseph B]

If you are anywhere near South Jersey I humbly invite you to join my team. My personal opinion is that a team of one is a dead end ministry -- it ends when you die.
Bottom line on you particular situation - pray - then go or stay as the Spirit directs you.
I think one reason there are so many churches is so that there is one that is the perfect fit for each of us. (Well, maybe tolerable fit - haven't found the perfect church yet, if I do I'll keep away and let it continue to be perfect).
When I left my last church (due to problems similar in nature) I had churches asking me to step up - I went with a church that didn't even use an overhead projector, because that is where I felt God calling me.
I am so glad I did, it has been a joy (most of the time) getting them into the 21st Century. Still have a ways to go but I am with good, caring people who appreciate my service. Growing a team has been slow, but there are now two who handle Wednesday night services and 2 of us who do Sundays (our third member passed away this week).
Like you I love what I do and when I was at a church that didn't appreciate it I did it for anyone who asked (still do).

[nuts4cmptrs]

If you are anywhere near South Jersey I humbly invite you to join my team. My personal opinion is that a team of one is a dead end ministry -- it ends when you die. Bottom line on you particular situation - pray - then go or stay as the Spirit directs you.

Thank you for the invite! I am actually in Virginia, however Steve and I are born and raised in New Jersey. We lived in the Bergen County Area and moved to Sussex County before moving to Virginia.

Thank you for your perspective. This entire forum experience has been much more than I thought I would experience in the discussions. It has been great to hear from others in ministry. I am so thankful for forums like this that can provide positive and objective discussions and ideas. This has helped me tremendously. Yes, prayer is the key in this situation and I am waiting the Lord's direction.

[Paris MkVI]

Originally Posted by Joseph B

My personal opinion is that a team of one is a dead end ministry -- it ends when you die.

Oh yeah, what brother J said here.

As we mature in our spiritual journey, we are called to do in the spiritual what adults do in the natural - reproduce ourselves.

Then we become spiritual parents, pouring ourselves into other lives. Even in the tech world, this applies. I cannot keep my skills to myself. I must give them away, invest others with them. I won't be here forever (Thank you Lord!)

I am in Virginia too, sis. I serve at Western Branch Community Church in Chesapeake. Visit us on the web at wbcc.net.

Blessings on you and covering as you seek His will for you!