What would you do?

[jeffjams]

Greatings,

This has been bugging me for a while now, to the point i'm not able to sleep. I am heavely involved in volunteering at my church from helping with security, media ministries, and traffic. Everything has been going pretty good, until a few months ago. There has been a paid staff member from the church to oversea everything (that is not a big deal, I'm probably the most easy going guy and will get along with everyone). However, within the first week, this person was trying to move me to another department and I've had three students warn me about him over hearing "trying to get rid of me". Since then he continues to try to move me to other departments or limit the amount of stuff I do like getting videos.

I've been volunteering over 5 years in this particualar department and I've heard this person bad mouth me saying "I dont know what I"m doing". which is pretty hurtful considering the amount of time I give to this church.

I've tried to talk to the individual in question and everything was denied. I dont know if its true or not, its just hurtful.

So my question is should I resign from this? I want to serve where ever I can but not with all the "drama" attached.

[KeckCreative]

A word of caution about others telling you something they "overheard" another say. Speaking from a manager point of view dealing with personnel issues, that is a classic "lets get someone else to do our bidding." Meaning person A doesn't like person B, so person A tells person C that person B is out to get them hoping that person C confronts person A and person A goes away or is somehow minimized. That may not be what's happening here, but I've seen that scenario play out countless times.

You need to have open/honest dialog with the paid staff member. Ask non-confrontationally why you are being moved to another area. Be prepared for honest constructive feedback if something performance wise is not up to speed. And if something isn't up to speed, ask for feedback on how to improve and set goals and timetable to re-evaluate. Talk about why you volunteer in the department you've been at for 5 years.

There is only "drama" if you allow yourself to be drawn into it. Pray about it. Don't assume the negative. Share how you feel, but always act with an approach of being a team player. Look at it as there's a problem out there and you and the paid staff member are working together (not against each other) to solve it.

[petereit]

I would take this as an opportunity to back away from volunteering for a while. Look at it as a sabbatical -- a time to rest, sit in the congregation and allow yourself to be ministered to. It also provides a great opportunity for others to step up and fulfill their own volunteer obligations. Be forgiving if "the next person" doesn't do as well as you, and be humble and appreciative of their gifts if they do better.

In the end, "your gift will make room for you."

[jeffjams]

Thanks guys I really appreciate all your feedback.

We have alot of gifted staff and it really is a good church.

[tedanderson]

If it is a situation where they think that you don't know what you are doing, and worse case scenario they replace you, one of two things will happen:

1. You'll learn some things that you probably weren't aware that you didn't know.
2. They'll learn something that they didn't know in regards to how much work is really involved and it's not as easy as they think it is.

Either way the problem will take care of itself regardless of whether or not the overseer is trying to get rid of you. As you know, it takes a lot of time and effort to do the things that we do in ministry. If he is really trying to get rid of you, he will soon learn the consequences of his actions.

[yagabu]

I am brought to mind, Matt. 5:23-24. You must go to that person and try and reconcile. Your gift to leave at the alter is your service. Service is also an act of worship. There are further verses to look to if things do not go well with the person. The bible outlines how to go about reconciliation.

[Paris MkVI]

Other folks speaking to you about what a third person has said can be gossip too, which God hates.

I determine whether something is gossip by first identifying the problem, then "drawing a box" around it, so to speak. Anyone inside the box has to be [1] part of the solution or, [2] part of the problem.

If they are neither, they are outside the box, and anything outside the box is gossip.

[jeffjams]

Well to make a long story short I ended up resigningm, i still do some work for them but they're trying to even take that away.

I have no idea whats wrong with them. If they want to treat there volunteers like that maybe I should find another church!

[jeffjams]

Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong maybe i'm taking it too personal, are they trying to get rid of me because of me or they are just trying to go in a new direction.

Its frustrating to me and now with it all i'm evulating my self worth. Because of all of this happening I feel absoultly worthless now, I have given this place every Wednesday and Sunday of my life for five years and this is it.

[cmchamp]

Jeff
Praying for you.
I've been filling a previously paid position at church since May when the previous music directors resigned. Had I volunteered for the position, that'd be one thing, but I was asked by the Sr. Pastor. The deacon I've spoken to didn't realize I hadn't been being paid and knows I can use any extra $$ since my wife lost her job in September.
I've shared with the deacon and the Sr. Pastor, that I may have to start booking Throne Together Ministries much more often, even myself as a solo artist, in order to make ends meet, let alone make sure I've got enough gas to make it to my full time job.
It's frustrating for sure, and I've even streamlined what I "do" as Technical Director as that's not a paid position either.
A laborer is worthy of his hire.
Prayers offered.
C.

[tricky1]

I forced myself to take a hiatus from volunteering for a while from my church after feeling burnt out after a long and confusing split of the congregation. I got my bases covered as I was in leadership for a few departments. It has taken me this long to recover and I am just starting to get back into things. Although it may not be the exact same situation as yours, sometimes it just helps to step back and breathe. You may find in the end that the people who really care about you start wondering where you are and welcome you back with open arms.

[Brad Weber]

Originally Posted by jeffjams

Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong maybe i'm taking it too personal, are they trying to get rid of me because of me or they are just trying to go in a new direction.

Its frustrating to me and now with it all i'm evulating my self worth. Because of all of this happening I feel absoultly worthless now, I have given this place every Wednesday and Sunday of my life for five years and this is it.

Due to some changes in corporate structure, mergers and promotions my wife has been going through a similar situation at her job. Last week she was thinking she might be let go and was experiencing many of the same feelings you've expressed. Then completely unexpectedly she was contacted by someone at the corporate headquarters who she had worked with on occasion in the past They were unaware of the local situation but had a position working for them opening up and were hoping my wife would consider it. They even offered to arrange it so she could take the job without having to move and apologized for what they thought would be a cut in salary (but is actually a 30%+ increase in salary!).

Whether that works out or not, it affirmed that her current situation is the result of the other party's values rather than of her worth. It sounds like your situation may be similar and I hope you recognize that your worth is not tied to their perceptions.