Etiquette in use of last names, aliases etc. on-line.

[verselady]

When you tell stories on line, is it proper to use the person's last name?

Or is this frowned upon? Yes, there are some names I will, ONLY put their initial AFTER their first name.

If I already know their feelings about the World Wide Web, scared, exposed, negative, or fear about appearing on the web, whatever their concerns, I will honor their concerns. Any doubts I will withhold their last name.

In the cases when I KOW their name is out there anyway, being able to be widely searched, I probably will add their last name.

And Maybe a fine line here. Anyway, prayerfully make the decision. Yes or no. IF a question, then forget it.

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Col 4:6 NLT

What’s your opinion?

7'm forming up some rules for myself.

1. Good stories matched with names.
2. Bad stories (no name) is my rule.

I guess what I am asking is how personal can you get? Without harming someone or going against their wishes.

And I guess I would be known as a name dropper, if I mention recognizable names?

Thanks for your opinion

Barbara

[kbob]

I try to do what they've already done online themselves.

If they're not on the web at all, or currently just use their first name & maybe last initial, I'll just use first name or first name and last initial.

If they're online, but typically use only an alias then I will use that alias.

Only if they're already using their full name to I use the full name. For people like Tim, that already are well known, it matters less, but for others I happen to think it's a privacy thing.

[Smob]

Originally Posted by verselady

2. Bad stories (no name) is my rule.

I lost you there. What's a bad story?
I'm with kbob. If some one has offered their name, first last, or screen, then I use it.

This is sort of related:
ChurchMedia.net and Your Privacy

I generally don't recommend full names unless you WANT the name recognition exposure (like me). As for using their names -- I agree that if someone volunteers their name then it's okay to use it. If you just happen to know their name, but they generally don't make it known on the 'Net, I think it's bad ethics to use it. The exceptions would be famous people, people who's names have already been reported (like in an online news article), etc. If it's a personal friend and you want to say something about them, I wouldn't use their full name - especially if it's a "bad story." They could sue you for liable. But then, I guess you probably wouldn't be friends....

[Pastor Tim]

Originally Posted by Tim Eason

They could sue you for liable.

Or even libel.

Pastor Tim

LOL - Just be sure that you do more than spell check when you are libeling someone... you don't want to be misunderstood!

[cjlowe]

It seems the standard business etiquette for email is to start with, e.g. "Hi Tim". Last names seem to be omitted wherever possible in electronic communication unless referring to big names, e.g. "Tim Eason", "Peter Furler"; to outside parties ("Tim Eason of CMN"); or to disambiguate ("Tim Eason" / "Pastor Tim", instead of "Tim").

I'd say that disclosing a person's identity when they haven't personally made it publicly available is a big no-no. For example, I will talk about Lucas and I when talking about the time I visited him - he's well-known here - but I will talk about our worship director when referring to our benevolent leader, because he hasn't made his identity widely available. I'd go so far as to say that revealing any personally identifiable intimate detail about a person, their mannerisms or behaviors is bad, for example, The media director at my church picks his nose a lot, with my church's name revealed here, would probably be inappropriate [we don't have a media director per se, so I'm safe].

If your comment would potentially be damaging to a person's reputation, consider whether there's a way to anonymise the posting completely, or at least obscure the reference - "Someone at my church has made my life harder", or "I am angry at a person in leadership above me; they're a doodyhead because..." as opposed to "Our media director is a poopyhead because...".

If the only information the individual in question has publicly volunteered is a screen name, just refer to them by that. In my case, I'm not too concerned - I have a secret alter-ego which I use to post anonymously to some places - and when I post as myself, I'm careful what I say. I make my address and phone number public knowledge, as they're both available via the 'phone book anyway. But that is my personal choice; not everyone may feel the same way about leaving themselves so open.

By the way, feel free to call me Chris, CJ, Chris Maclachlan, Chris Mac, CJMac, Chris Lowe, Mr Lowe, anything you want as long as you don't make the stupid "Hi Lowe" joke. If you make that, I'll... think of something awful to call you!

[shayward]

This is not just confined to web etiquette. I wrote a system that scales transport trucks and prints scale tickets. On the scale ticket, I placed the scale operator's First and Last names and immediately they wanted only their last initial. They didn't want some guy looking them up in the phone book. I can totally see that.

I think last names should only be used if someone already has established their online presence using their last name. Tim Eason has, many others here have. I have also done so (if you Google me, you'll find my blog on programming and various speaking engagements I've had).

Children's photos should never have names attached unless the parents agree to allow the first name only and there is no way to determine the child's last name.

I have a friend who, at her church, runs Vacation Bible School and one of the little girls in her church is in perminant foster care. Both parents were ruled unfit along with most of the family and her dad is incarsorated. Her first name is also somewhat unique (and quite nice-sounding). The last thing anyone wants is him or one of his thug friends to find her on a Google search.

[cjlowe]

Childrens' photos should never be posted, period, unless the parents / legal guardians have consented to the specific photo in question being posted, or have signed a blanket disclaimer ("You consent that during this event, photography may be take of your child for use in external promotional etc etc") - IANAL, so double-check that it's enough.

[stevegoad]

While I don't think I have a hard-and-fast rule, I am pretty much an "err on the side of caution" person when dealing with privacy issues.

There is little reason that we need to go into naming names to tell a story (Definitely much less reason than we try to admit).

In the times that it is needed, I would say get the permission first... Ask the person if you can use their name, and ask if you can use their story

(I am amazed how often people say no... I am also amazed at how often they say yes).
But again, that is just erring on the side of caution.

[shayward]

Childrens' photos should never be posted, period, unless the parents / legal guardians have consented to the specific photo in question being posted

Sorry, I wasn't specifically thinking of the Internet. You are right on that. I was thinking along the lines of showing photos taken in the church within the church on a power-point or something (for VBS). And even that we get permission from parents to take photos in general.

[Pastor Tim]

My personal policy is no names and no pictures online. I don't want the hassle of getting and keeping release forms on file and I tend to be one who thinks there is already too little privacy for most of us. I will not even use an identifiable story or event if it paints someone in a bad light. It is far too easy to chase someone away from the church and even from God by things like that. This goes double if you are dealing with an unsaved person - I've seen someone turn their back on the Gospel because of my big mouth. Online is just a bigger stage and so requires even greater caution.

In short, if you are not absolutely, completely, totally, 100% certain it is OK, use no identifiable names or pictures.

YMMV

Pastor Tim (currently suffering from a terrible head cold, so perhaps not entirely coherent)