Benevolence

[CRBChurch]

I'm burnt out with benevolence. I'm tired of the same guy coming in every single day wanting gas cards. Every day I send him away. He only seems to show up when the Pastor isn't here. Pastor wants to talk to him, to tell him that we can't keep supporting him. I feel bad for turning him away. I don't feel too bad though, because he comes in my office smelling like a smoke stack. Cigarettes are $3-$4 per pack around here...if he can afford cigarettes then surely he can afford gas in his car. Right? I'm frustrated and just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.

How does your church handle these situations?

Elizabeth

[[Admin] osborn4]

We only help once or twice and after that we send them to the county or other community resources.

We hope to have some financial counseling someday, to give a hand up, rather than just a hand out.

[co1722]

We haven't had too many repeat "offenders" yet. We have had ones that should be able to take care of themselves if they'd give up their habits (i.e. smoking) [not trying to judge, just commenting]. The committee is meeting this Sunday to evaluate how help is given to keep the abusers down to a minimum. If I learn anything that might be helpful, I'll post it. This seems to be a problem in churches everywhere. Two other local churches let Community Action (the government branch that helps people) screen people first to see if they just hop from church to church looking for hand outs.

[riafekim]

We have taken the stance that if the person is in constant need then we need to help the root cause not just get him by for the next week.

For example we've had a single mom's that was in true financial trouble. Like you we were paying for weekly gas, etc. Pastor then asked somebody to sit down with her and go through her budget to see how we could help that. Long story short she accepted the offer and has not asked for extra money since. Things seem to be doing much better.

If the person is truly looking to get better (poor choice of words) then then they will be open to the assistance.

[gwalker]

Back in the 70's I had a church that regularly got requests. In the end I created a long 'form' to be completed first, requiring the person to show their ID which was noted on the form. There were questions about income, home address, dependants, religion, church attendance, budgeting, where their money was spent etc.
They had to date and sign the form stating what they had input was true.

The best thing about the form was that it shifted the 'expectation' from you to give them money to them to fill in the form.
You become more detached from the confrontation. It became far easier to say:" You haven't filled in that question and I need all questions answered before we can evaluate your request for assistance?"

Only genuine people were prepared to even consider filling in the form and the number of people seeking help dwindled overnight.

I know some churches only give food vouchers to a local store but these are not foolproof and could be on-sold for cash.

[madill]

We have tightened our program to limits on the number of times in a year we will pay for utility bills, gas. We had a very nice lady who did administer the program until her health failed. She had her "regulars" that she saw to it they had food each week. I think this resulted in being taken advantage of. Since she has been ill another lady has taken it over with new rules and limits.

We also have a "food of the month" where we ask the congregation to donate specific food items: this month is cereal, last month was canned meat, etc. Of course, we'll take any food item that is donated.

It is Methodism to the core to be a good neighbor to people in need.

[NGRRFan]

Our church has a specific ministry for these needs. There is an application form with many questions, an interview process, and then it takes a week for evaluation and resolution. So if you want something "right now"... it isn't going to happen. Also we do not disburse cash. We will pay the utility company, or the doctor or rent but only directly.

So our office staff has it fairly easy as they just tell the people to make an appointment for an interview.

BTW.... emergencies for members are handled differently.

[shayward]

We are a small country church but benevolence is something we are big on. We are also extremely quick to help out, within reason. This is especially true if it is a parishioner and an emergency situation has come up.

We generally take people at their word without asking too many questions the first go around. If the Pastor finds out, however, that someone has lied to us that's the end for any future financial help.

Plus if someone is constantly asking for money, month after month then we have to suggest that they change their financial life-style.

[cbcmary]

We keep a small food pantry and it is our policy to only help this one time so you can make other arrangements. I have a form for them to fill out; they must live in our area and have id and proof of that address. We found that stopped many of the 'hoppers.' We rarely give cash assistance outside our own church body and that is handled by the pastor and deacons quietly. I am not allowed to give any cash. If a pastor is here, he may go to the gas station down the street and pay for the gas. Mostly, the deacons tell me to say that there are no funds available at this time.

[[Director] Joseph B]

In my opinion, benevolence is to deal with emergency situations or temporary problems. Some people have turned it into a lifestyle. I personally have a problem with someone who dresses better then me, drives a nicer car and has money to buy ciggertes, drugs, liquor, etc telling me how hard things are and wanting me to help support them. I have seen several instances where people like this will become devout attenders -- until the well starts to dry up and they are getting "freebes" elsewhere.
I'm all about helping those in need, not those in want.

[shayward]

Some people have turned it into a lifestyle. I personally have a problem with someone who dresses better then me, drives a nicer car and has money to buy ciggertes, drugs, liquor, etc telling me how hard things are and wanting me to help support them.

I make a reasonable salary (working in IT), I'm not tied to a house/mortgage, and I personally couldn't even begin to find the money to smoke, drink, buy lottery tickets, or even own dogs/cats (we have one goldfish).

I knew a woman that used the foodbank almost every single month, manipulated people into feeling sorry for her, and drained everyone who helped her financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually until there was nothing left.

Every month she bought two cartons of smokes, she owned over 1000 VHS tapes (before DVD was around), she bought Navada tickets, and she owned three cats and a dog.

Being one of the "drained" was a real eye-opener for me as a young (18-year-old), idealistic man.

And yet there is this:

Luke 6:27 "But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. 29 To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. 31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise."

Some interpret the teachings of Jesus literally, others say he used hyperbole to make a point (EG: if your eye/hand/foot offends, cut it off).

It seems to me that blanket turning people away would run pretty contrary no matter how you interpret this (literally or as hyperbole).

I thing a solution wrought in wisdom and love that not only meets the need today but gives people the tools to become sufficient for tomorrow (if possible, there are many impoverished seniors) is the best course of action.

If people don't want to become sufficient for tomorrow, they'll go somewhere else.

I have seen several instances where people like this will become devout attenders -- until the well starts to dry up and they are getting "freebes" elsewhere.

(Sigh)... me too. And it leaves a heartbreaking feeling of betrail.

I'm all about helping those in need, not those in want.

Sometimes people inadvertently (and unwittingly) become people in need because they have lived lives in want for so very long. It doesn't make their need today any less real. We still need to have love and compassion, albeit mixed with a hardy dose of wisdom of when to say "no".

Just my $0.021296 US (converted from Canadian funds)

- Shaun

[johde]

We have never had too much problem with people asking several times. When my dad was preaching in a small town church just off the freeway, people would occationally stop asking for money for gas to finish their trip. We found out the several of these people were asking all the churches in town. The churches in the area worked together with a local gas station and grocery store to stop the problem. All of the churches had the same special "gift certificates". Each location would only accept 1 certificate per person during a given period of time.